A family rule was established early in our married life which stated that there would be no dating before the age of sixteen.  It was a great rule.  It eliminated lots of problems, was never resented by any of the kids, and was frequently used by the girls as a graceful way to say no to unwanted invitations from boys.  Heidi used it a lot.  "Thanks," she'd say, "but I'm not allowed to date until I'm sixteen."

A turn-down for such a reason left the boy's ego intact, and kept Heidi from having to scramble for a valid excuse to keep from going out with a boy she had no desire to date.  "I'm so glad you won't let us date before we're sixteen," Heidi was frequently heard to say.  "What am I going to say once I've had my birthday?"

That was a valid worry.  Heidi's birthday was in March.  The prom was in April.  She'd turn sixteen before the prom, and every boy knew it.  Every boy knew about her family's rule, and every boy knew she'd turn sixteen on March 3rd.

Things worked out well, though.  It may have taken a bit of engineering, but Heidi was asked to the prom by a boy she liked.  He got his order in early—ahead of the four invitations that quickly followed.

Things didn't go nearly as smoothly the year Heidi was a senior, however.  The early invitation came from a boy she really didn't want to go out with.  The boy was nice, but Heidi had hoped to spend the evening with someone more interesting and fun.  "What shall I do?" she agonized to her parents.

I wasn't much help.  My counsel ran counter to what she wanted to hear.  I told her to accept the invitation.  "It will make the boy's day; and as soon as you get out of high school, it's not going to matter who you went to the prom with anyway."

My counsel stemmed from one of the two big regrets that I had in my life.  If I had the chance, I'd go back and do things differently in both situations.  In this instance I had been asked by a girl to accompany her to her prom at the Catholic Academy.  We were acquaintances because we rode the school bus together.  She was a nice girl, but she was big.  She was taller than I was, and I was an even six feet tall.  Her weight was double mine.  I didn't know anyone at her school, I was shy anyway, and I'd feel out of place.  I declined the invitation with a lie.  "I'm going to visit my brother in Corvallis that weekend."

I lied!  The girl had to stay home from her prom because she had no date.  The last that I heard of her, she'd never married.  It was probably because of the injury I did to her ego by turning down her invitation.  "Be a man, and go to the prom with her," my dad said.  But I didn't.

My mother said that her own mother counseled, "Never go out with a boy just because you feel sorry for him."  Maybe I was justified in not going out with the girl, but what would it have hurt if I had?  I'd have made the girl's day.  I'd have made the girl's year.  She'd have been able to hold her head high among her classmates because she had a date to her prom.  If I had it to do over, I'd be a man, and I'd take the girl to her prom.

"It will make the boy's day," I told Heidi, "and in later years you aren't even going to think about your senior prom.  Who you go with isn't going to matter."

Heidi went to the prom with the boy.  I was proud of her.  She went in spite of the fact that she later received an invitation from the boy she'd really wanted to go with.  She had a lackluster evening, but she also had no regrets.

Heidi never thinks about that prom now.  It's faded into an unimportant memory.

Katie's first prom, however, will never be forgotten, thanks to her little brothers.  Siblings can be a definite liability to dating girls.

The problem arose because of a missing tie.  Nathan was going to the prom, too, and the tie that he wanted to wear was nowhere to be found.  The whole family was searching for it.  Margie finally located it under the seat of the car where Nathan had stowed it following church.  But meanwhile in the house, three little brothers were also searching for the tie.  They were looking in unlikely places, and in doing so they discovered a treasure trove.

Katie's date, Shane, arrived just then to pick her up.  She was not quite ready.  Katie's mother was busy helping both Nathan and Katie.  I wasn't there.  That left Shane waiting alone in the living room with three little boys to entertain him.  And entertain him they did.  The treasure trove of missing articles was discovered when one of them reached down behind the cushions on the couch.  With Shane looking on they proceeded to pull item after dusty item from the area where such things collect between the parts of the couch frame.

"Wow, look what I found!" one would say as he held up a long-missing toy, spoon, coin, pen, or article of clothing.  The pile of retrieved treasures grew.  So did their mother's ire when she discovered how Katie's date was being entertained while he waited.  She and Katie were both embarrassed, but Shane enjoyed the show very much.

That episode was accidental.  Other such situations were contrived.

Amy was in a fever as she prepared for Shawn's arrival.  He was coming from Idaho.  Shawn was the young man she was going to marry.  This would be his first time to meet Amy's family.  Amy and her mother were frantically cleaning and setting the house in order.  Everything had to be perfect.  Shawn must get a good impression of the family.

Amy's siblings observed the nervous state she was in, and each independently decided upon a course of action to relieve her tension.  Margie had fallen heir to a piece of green and white striped material from which she had made a shirt for me, and a pair of baggy Bermuda shorts for Aaron.  Alone, each item looked fine.  Together, the combination was hideous.

Aaron donned both the shirt and shorts, and casually appeared in the living room all ready to meet Amy's beau.  He looked ridiculous.  It was hilarious to the rest of us, but Amy's state was such that she couldn't even crack a smile.

Heidi next appeared in a dress given to us by Janie Markle.  Janie was an old lady neighbor that we took care of.  She had given us several of her dresses and a pair of orange-checkered pants that had belonged to her late husband.  She thought that we could get some use out of them.

We did, indeed.  The dresses had large floral patterns, and had probably been in style several generations ago.  Margie and the kids were very taken with them.  Margie thought they'd make good costumes.  The kids got lots of use out of them for skits at school, and on "crazy days" when everyone was to wear something weird for homecoming week.  The dresses and pants became quite famous.  People borrowed them all the time.

With Heidi in her old lady floral dress, Matt in the orange-checkered pants with the short legs, and Aaron in his green and white striped outfit, the family was all ready to meet Shawn.  Amy would willingly have disowned the family at that point.  She failed to see the humor in it all.  Everyone was ordered back to their rooms where they were to change into normal clothes.

The family and the house apparently passed inspection.  Shawn returned for another visit.  He brought Amy home from college.  The relationship was at a point that Margie and I were expecting them to announce their engagement.  We conjectured that was the purpose of the visit.

We liked Shawn a lot, so I planned a special breakfast for him.  The morning after his arrival I got up early and started preparing.  We would have crepes covered with a thick berry syrup and slices of bananas, strawberries, and kiwis topped with whipped cream.  I was the only one up.  I worked quietly so as not to disturb anyone.

I was surprised to look up and see Shawn come into the kitchen.  I greeted him with a cheerful "good morning."  I explained that I was making him a special breakfast, and that since he was up, he might as well help me.  I handed him a knife, and invited him to slice the kiwis.

Being as unperceptive as I am, I failed to notice Shawn's nervousness.  He told me later that his hands were shaking so badly that he could hardly slice the kiwis.  Shawn had gotten up early so that he could find me alone, and ask my permission to marry Amy.

I could have made things so easy for Shawn if I'd just stopped to think why he was there.  Instead I put him to work, bustled about the kitchen, and chatted with him about inconsequential things.  In no time at all kids began filing into the kitchen looking for breakfast.  The opportunity to talk to me alone was gone.

The day progressed.  I went to work outside.  The family went about its normal activities.  Shawn watched for a chance to talk to me.  I was never without people around me.

Afternoon came.  My widower father needed his daily visit, and his diabetic big toe needed doctoring.  I dropped what I was doing, and drove up the hill to see him.  Those visits included a game of Scrabble, and usually took one hour while I soaked his foot.  As I was coming down the hill, I was puzzled to see Shawn's car coming up.  Halfway between our two houses he stopped me.  He leaned out of his car window and said, "I need to talk to you.  I've been trying to catch you alone all day, and haven't been able to do it."

My heart leaped for joy as he proceeded to ask for my permission to marry Amy.  It was a short interview.  Of course he had our blessing.

We both went back to the house.  I told Margie what had just taken place.  We stepped out into the back yard where we observed Shawn and Amy walking hand-in-hand up through the fields toward Willow Creek to the spot he'd picked out to pop the question.