Sometimes I have fun dreams.  On such occasions I might come awake, and have been known to awaken Marjorie to share the experience with her.  We then lie there in the dark giggling like children over the ridiculous situation in which I’ve imagined myself.  Two such dreams need to be recorded.

In the first I was with our friend, Shirley.  She and I had the assignment of finding the security leak in a huge warehouse-type building.  Shirley is a good-hearted soul who is given to talking.  She can talk non-stop on her topics for as long as you’re willing to listen.

Shirley and I had a device with an attached wand that we stuck into every nook and cranny as we circled the inside perimeter of the warehouse.  The wand had the capability of detecting security leaks, and would make its attached box sound an alarm when a leak was discovered.

Shirley and I circled the entire inside of the building without finding the security leak.  Shirley prattled along on her topics the entire time.  Having returned to our point of beginning, I was turning around aimlessly wondering what to do next when the wand accidentally passed Shirley’s mouth.  The devise suddenly went “Beep!  Beep!  Beep!”  We’d found the leak!

I awoke, and turned off my beeping alarm clock.

Years later Marjorie and I stopped at our mailbox on our way to the college graduation party for Drew Leggett.  We had been anxiously watching the mailbox for our mission call.  It was there!  I handed it to Marjorie and asked if she was going to wait to open it when the kids could all be there.  She said, “No!  I want to know where we’re going!” and ripped the envelope open.

She began to read.  “...You are called to serve in the Vanu..., Vanu... Port..., Vanu... Port Vila, ...where is this place, anyway!!?”

When we arrived at the Leggett’s, Shirley was there.  “Did you get your mission call?” she asked.

“Yes, we just now opened it on the way here.”

“Where are you going?” she asked excitedly.

“We can’t tell you.  We haven’t even told our children yet, and it wouldn’t be right to tell you before we told them.”

“Oh, come on.  You can tell me!  I won’t tell anyone.”

“Shirley, if we told you where we’re going, you wouldn’t be able to hold it in.  Within a half hour the whole valley would know.”

Shirley assured us that wasn’t true, but we knew otherwise.  We didn’t tell.  Shirley is a proven security risk.  I know that’s so because of my dream.

In my second dream I was a rock star.  This is funny because there could hardly be a more incongruous situation.  In the first place I hate rock music, and in the second place I consider rock stars to be disgusting blemishes on humanity.

I even had a name in the dream.  My name was Stag Faris.  The name is what makes this dream memorable.  I love that name, and wonder how my sleeping mind was able to come up with it.  I like the name so much that I’ve made it my all-purpose computer password.

In the dream it was time for me to go onstage.  They told me to unbutton my shirt.  I refused.  And thus ended my budding rock stardom.