Ernie told me that Elaine requested that I speak at her funeral.  I want her to know that I am deeply honored.  I was shocked to learn that she had passed.  It honestly had never once entered my head that Elaine and Ernie weren’t permanent.

I have a favorite memory of Elaine.  It happened as I was conducting an interview with her to renew her temple recommend.  I asked her, “Do you love your husband?”  She sat upright in her chair, looked at me with intensity, and stated with force, “He’s the best man in the world!”  I was stunned.  I believed her.  To this day I can’t look at Ernie without thinking, “He’s the best man in the world.”

I thought then, and have thought many times since, that if all marriages were like Elaine’s and Ernie’s, this world’s problems would all go away.  Think about it:  There would be no selfishness.  There would be no disharmony.  Elaine and Ernie are the embodiment of a statement made by Elder Boyd K. Packer, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.  He said that “I have come to realize that two people can live together in love without a cross word ever passing between them.”

Everyone who knows Elaine and Ernie knows that they have that kind of relationship.

My life and Ernie’s are on a parallel.  We both spent our early lives as non-members of the Church.  We didn’t know much of anything about religion.  We were each introduced to the Church by our future wives.  We both took our wives to the temple to be sealed to us.  Neither woman would have agreed to be married unless we were baptized and looked like we were going to be good members.  They made us what we are.  We owe everything that we are, and hope to be, to them.

Elaine had a burning desire to know what goes on after death.  I do, too.  I’ve made this an ongoing study.  Let me tell you what I’ve learned.

First, Jesus Christ lived and died in the manner that He did to (1) show you and I how we are to live our lives, (2) to make it possible for us to repent and to have our sins erased so that we can return to the presence of God, and (3) to bring about the resurrection.

Second, I learned that I have a spirit that existed before I came to Earth.  This is spelled out very clearly in the 8th chapter of Proverbs:

“The Lord possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old.

“I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was.

“When there were no depths, I was brought forth; when there were no fountains abounding with water.

“Before the mountains were settled, before the hills was I brought forth.”  (That says that we’re older than the hills).

“While as yet he had not made the earth, nor the fields, nor the highest part of the dust of the world.

“When he prepared the heavens, I was there...”  (Proverbs 8:22-27).

Third, I learned that we came to Earth for the purpose of obtaining bodies, and of making and keeping covenants.

Fourth, I learned that when Jesus Christ died, His spirit returned to our Father.  His body went another way.  He came and took it again.  He has it today.  He’ll never die again, and because of Him we all get to do the same thing.

But we’re going to have to wait awhile.  Many people erroneously believe that upon death we immediately go to heaven.  As He hung on the cross, Jesus told the thief beside Him, “To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.”  (Luke 23:43).  The thief wasn’t ready for heaven, and wouldn’t be, until he made himself right and obtained a resurrection.

Alma, in the Book of Mormon, wanted to know where we go after death, too.  His is the best explanation in all of scripture.  He said:

“Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.

“And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

“And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of the wicked, yea, who are evil—for behold, they have no part nor portion of the Spirit of the Lord; for behold, they chose evil works rather than good; therefore the spirit of the devil did enter into them, and take possession of their house—and these shall be cast out into outer darkness...”  (Alma 40:11-13).

Elaine now knows all about this.  She’d love to tell us.  She’s happy and excited and anxious to share her experiences.  She’d tell us that her death was sweet.  (D&C 42:46).  She’d tell us that she isn’t going to be far from you.

Joseph Smith, referring to the righteous dead, said, “They are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and motions, and are often pained therewith.”

I can illustrate this principle:

Within days of my baptism, I found myself in the U.S. Navy.  A year later I was on a plane crossing the Pacific Ocean to Japan where I’d be serving aboard the USS Banner for the next year.  This was during the Vietnam conflict.  As I was in the air en route to Japan, the North Koreans captured the USS Pueblo, the Banner’s sister ship.  The two ships took turns relieving each other at sea every three weeks.  The North Koreans held the Pueblo’s crew captive for 400 days.

My mother had never had a son in military service before.  I didn’t know this at the time, but she was beside herself with worry.  Here was her little boy going to that dangerous part of the world, and doing dangerous things, and there wasn’t anything she could do but worry.  My mother was not a member of the Church, but she was a good, upright person, and she prayed.  She prayed for her boy.  One night her deceased father came and stood by her bed and said, “You don’t have to worry about Jamie.  He’s going to be all right.”  And she quit worrying.

This story had a profound effect upon me.  My wonderful grandfather knew what his daughter was thinking, and came to administer comfort.  He knew that his grandson had protections around him.  He knew what my future was.  He knew that I was going to be just fine.

“They are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and motions...”

I have a good friend who is a sealer in the temple.  He told me about his niece.  His niece was expecting her second child when she learned that she had a particularly aggressive form of cancer.  She was told to abort the baby because the hormones that accompany pregnancy would only cause the cancer to grow even more aggressively.

She refused.  She had the baby, and died a short time later.  Her two tiny children went to the care of her sister.  Caring for those two babies was a burden, and tiring, and a full-time job.  One day the deceased sister came to the living sister and said, “I have been permitted to come answer your questions.”

“Was a mistake made?”

“No, no mistake was made.”

“What about your two little girls?”

“I’m with them every day.”

“Where do you live?”

“I live with Grandma and Grandpa, but I don’t see much of them.  They leave hand-in-hand early in the morning, and don’t return until late.”

I had a friend who directed the hospice program.  She told me that she had been present at the deaths of hundreds of people.  She said that in over 50% of the cases the patient would see, and start talking to, family members who had passed on.  She alerted the families that if their loved one should start conversing with people who were already dead, they could expect that their loved one’s death was imminent.

Doctrine and Covenants 42:46 says, “And it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them.”

Isn’t it a wonderful thought to think that our parents will meet us and show us around when we step to the other side?  Isn’t it a wonderful thought to think that our deceased loved ones are around us providing comfort and guidance?  I’m confident that my grandfather and my mother are serving in that capacity for me, and I’m confident that Elaine is in a position to do the same for you.

“They are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and motions, and are often pained therewith.”

My prayer is that you and I will make sure that our thoughts, feelings, and motions will be such that our mothers and fathers and grandparents will be proud of us, and that we won’t cause them pain.

The scripture that I read earlier said that they have gone to “a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care...”  (Alma 40:12).  I don’t think that’s quite accurate because they’re still going to be intimately involved in our lives, and will not cease caring about us.

They, and we, will also be anxiously awaiting the resurrection when we’ll get our bodies back again.  Alma said that “The soul shall be restored to the body, and the body to the soul; yea, and every limb and joint shall be restored to its body; yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame.”  (Alma 40:23).

You are lucky to have Elaine as your wife and mother and grandmother.  With few exceptions, no better person ever lived.  Please live up to her expectations.  She won’t be far away, and it won’t be long before you’re reunited forever.