In preparing for a talk that I was to give in stake conference some years ago, I asked each of my children, “What makes our family what it is?”  Each had a different answer.

“It’s because we live on a farm.”

“It’s because we have no television.”

“It’s because we have daily family devotionals.”

“It’s because we go to church.”

Heidi said, “It’s because we’re poor.  I hope that I never have all the money necessary to meet my wants and needs.”

I hadn’t thought about that talk and those comments for months or years, but two weeks ago I was again preparing to give a talk in church.  The topic I’d been given was “the value and sanctity of women.”  Nothing was jelling.  As I prepared for bed I knelt and asked Heavenly Father to bless me in the night with direction for the talk I was to give the next day.

It’s difficult for the Holy Ghost to cut through the static that fills our busy days.  We’re hurrying, worrying, and conversing, while surrounded by all sorts of noise from TV’s, radios, people, cars and machines of all types.  The daily moments of solitude that we schedule into our lives give the Holy Ghost an opportunity to speak and be felt.

I’ve found that another time when the Holy Ghost can speak is at night when we’re resting and our minds are clear.  I, therefore, asked the Lord to give me direction for my talk while I slept.

My next conscious action was to open my eyes and look at the clock.  It said 4:53.  In that instant the Holy Ghost found me with a completely clear mind, and fired off a one-liner:

“The reason you have the family you have is because of your stay-at-home wife.”

Though I hadn’t thought for years about my interviews with the kids, I immediately knew that the Holy Ghost was weighing in with the Lord’s answer to the question of what makes our family what it is.  I had failed to ask the Lord for His response to that question, and He wanted to give one.

When something is terribly plain, but you fail to see it, my kids have an apt response that they use when the obvious finally breaks through the fog.  They say, “Well, Duh!”

That’s what I mentally said as the Holy Ghost delivered the one-liner.  My stay-at-home wife is the reason for the exceptional family that I have.  How obvious.  Yet none of us had identified that fact.

With that as my starting point, the talk I was to give that day in church came together within minutes.  I felt directed to read an excerpt directly from my journal.  It was dated 7 July 1981.  I quote it here:

“My poor little wife is pregnant again.  She was in great hopes that she could put three years, at least, between children for a change.  She’s been especially happy and bubbly the past few months as she has been doing things that pregnancies and babies have prevented her from doing.  About four months ago she organized an aerobic dancing class held three times a week by the YMCA at the Haines School.  She absolutely loves it.  She’s always breaking into some of her steps as she does her housework.

“Lately Margie has been on a schedule where she can go work in the garden while Aaron naps.  Her goal has been to weed four rows a day.  She’s gotten over the entire garden that way.

“And now she finds she’s pregnant.  On 29 June she had her first day of morning sickness.  She couldn’t go to aerobic dancing.  I felt so sorry for her.  She was so glum and unsmiling all day.  That signaled to her the end of all the things she liked to do, and the beginning of morning sickness followed by the terrible ‘kinks’ she gets throughout the rest of the pregnancy.  I was really worried about her, but she had bounced back out of her depression by the next day.

“Margie is an amazing person.  She’s the best mother I’ve ever seen.  She absolutely adores each one of her children and will do anything for them.  She worries over their development and takes action whenever something looks amiss.  Lately she’s read several books with titles like How to Give Your Child a Superior Mind, How to Teach Your Baby to Read, and several more.  She tries to spend time with each child every day.  Amy already knows her alphabet because of it.  Matt turned up with poor scores on his readiness-for-school tests, so Margie devised a similar one, administered it, and discovered that his problem was a misunderstanding of directions.  He zipped right through her test with accuracy.  And then there’s Nathan, the child we spend 50% of our time on.  She’s read child psychology books for him, watches his diet, and makes him study.  He’s shown about a 90% improvement in his behavior, personality and ability to live with the family.

“I love Margie.  I love her more than anyone else in the world.  I don’t know how she manages, but her abilities just seem to increase with each child.  My mother says she looks sweet, but must be made of nails.  Ellen marvels over how nice the house looks every time she comes, and wonders how Margie can do it.  Joyce came up to me at our family reunion last Friday and said, ‘Do you know that I think you have the prettiest wife here!’

Margie is all of these things and more.  She’s everything.  I’m the luckiest man in the world.  It’s because of her that I am what I am, and have the hope of becoming what I will be.  I hope I can be worthy to spend all eternity with her.”

Margie says that she owes everything that she is to the fact that she has a large family.  I would add that her large family—myself included—owes everything that they are to Margie.  Without her love, steadiness, prayers, concern and “being there,” none of us would have turned out as we have.

The Apostles and Prophets have become very explicit about the need for mothers to be at home and not in the workplace.  I am grateful that my daughters and daughters-in-law are stay-at-home moms.  I’m grateful that my sons and sons-in-law are allowing their wives to be stay-at-home moms.

It will make all the difference.