Sunday 4 December 2005

I am home all alone for the first time since my hip replacement surgery four days ago.  Margie and the kids have gone to church....Margie has a piano recital this evening for her students.  She kept telling herself all the way through church to remember to go to the Baker County Public Library to pick up a key for the room there with the grand piano where she holds recitals.  Her mind, however, was also on her husband at home, and wondering if he was behaving himself, and whether she'd find him crumpled in a heap on the floor somewhere.  As she left the church parking lot, Margie said that she needed to go get the library key.  Ivy expected her to turn right, but she turned left toward home.  Ivy then expected her to turn left at the stop light, and take the 10th Street route to the library.  Instead, Margie turned right toward home.  Ivy said, "Didn't you want to go get the library key?"

Margie chastised herself for her forgetfulness, turned into the S&G parking lot, turned around, and pulled back out onto the highway going toward Haines again.

Ivy shouted, "What are you doing?"  Margie laughingly berated herself again, drove to the Ward's potato cellar, and turned around again.  This time Ivy held her finger out in front of Margie's eyes and pointed the direction to go at every intersection until she safely got her to the Baker County Public Library.

It's nice to know that my wife thinks so much about me that I can wipe all other thoughts from her mind.

Tuesday 13 December 2005

Today's letter is going to be on lessons learned from life.

It's been real cold here.  Temperatures down at Haines get as low as 10 below zero.  We don't think it's gotten below zero up here on the hill, but Margie says that we're really going through the firewood.  The teachers at the elementary school in Haines warned all the children about the hazards of putting their tongues on metal.  Isaac was sick that day, and so missed the warning.  Having put the idea into the children's minds, however, someone "double-dog-dared" Isaac to lick some metal the next day.  The result was a bloody mess that made Eli nearly faint, and which sent Isaac home to recover.

Ammon was the recipient of another of life's lessons.  He'll be three next month.  He was inspecting our Christmas tree when we heard an ornament pop.  After all these years our tree is still decorated like it was when our own kids were little—that is, the decorations are all on the top half of the tree, leaving the bottom half devoid of any ornaments other than lights.  The ornaments and kids have always been safer that way.  But Ammon got hold of a big, teardrop-shaped, red ornament that apparently looked good to eat.  The loud pop was followed by a scream of distress.  Heidi and Kevin spent the next 10 minutes digging shards of ornament out of his mouth.  It was rather cute to see him standing there so quietly and obediently with his mouth wide open as his father shined a flashlight in it and retrieved the hundred little shards.

Three-month-old Caleb's lessons consist of his dad laying him on the floor, and teaching him how to roll over.  He's doing very well.  We had some fun with him when Shawn came to pick up Amy, Maddie and Isabelle (who had been here for two weeks because Amy had driven Marjorie and I to Portland for my hip replacement).  Shawn always hates to be away from his baby.  He's afraid that the baby will change too much while they're apart.  Therefore, we had it planned that when he arrived, Amy and Ori would switch babies, and Amy would meet Shawn at the door holding Caleb who would have Isabelle's little head band on.  Adam asked Amy how she was going to respond when Shawn came in and said, "Boy, she really has gotten cute!"  Amy, of course, pooh-poohed that possibility since Isabelle is the world's cutest baby.  Katie laughed when told about that exchange because she knows that her own children are far and away the most beautiful of all.  It's so neat that every parent feels that way.  Grandma Zelma once mused about our kids:  "Do you suppose when other people see your children, they feel like going home and drowning theirs?"

Anyway when Shawn came in the door, everyone was all smiles.  He kissed and hugged Amy, and then bent down and looked into "Isabelle's" eyes.  He tried really hard to maintain his smile, but immediately recognized that something wasn't right.  "Boy, she really has changed," he muttered as the lights came on in his mind.  He immediately figured out what had been done.

Another lesson of life is never to ask anyone his age.  A forty-something Black lady was visiting us a few years ago.  She asked Micah, "How old are you?"  He promptly responded, "Four!  How old are you?"  She recoiled, sputtered, and was at a complete loss of words as to how to answer.

Three weeks ago Katie and Eli went with us to Rexburg for Kami's baptism.  Katie and Eli sat together on the piano bench while Katie played piano for the baptism.  Apparently they looked like Amy's little brother and sister to Shawn's brother, David, who is in his early 30's.  After the baptism he asked Eli and Katie their names, and then asked how old they are.  "Eleven," Eli answered.  "Thirty-two!" Katie said.  David nearly fell over.  Katie should have added, "And I have six children!"

The other thing you never ask someone is, "Are you pregnant?"  Sometimes they aren't and the situation can get ugly.  People are just now tuning into the fact, however, that, yes, Tia is pregnant.  She hides it really well.  When she then informs them that she's due February 12th it does the ladies in with jealousy.  Tia is having a little girl.

So is Heidi.  She had an ultrasound yesterday.  She and Kevin have four little boys.  When told that she was having a girl, she says she cried.  She's great with little boys, but finally she gets to see what another variety is like.  That will be about the 23rd of April.

The last lesson of life is one that I just tuned into, and that I'd like to pass on to each of my seven married boys.  A thought came to me like a revelation this week.  The thought is that, "If you, James, will always do what your wife says, you'll never go wrong."  My experience is that the only times I ever get myself into trouble is when I don't follow my wife's feelings and advice.  I mentally analyzed each of my married children's marital relationships, and I feel that I can safely extend that word of wisdom to each of my boys.  You each have very wise and wonderful wives, and you'd do well to pay close attention to their feelings and opinions.  You won't go wrong if you do.

—So--don't stick your tongue on cold flagpoles, don't succumb to peer pressure, don't put anything in your mouth that doesn't belong there, don't brag about your children being cuter than others', don't ask anyone their age or if they're pregnant, and always do what your wife says.