The very basis for all of Jesus’ teachings may be summed up in His oft-repeated admonition to “love one another.”

We accomplish this through kindness.  The measure of a person, and the measure of his Christianity, if you will, lies in how he treats others.

The saying is that good neighbors have good neighbors.  Good neighbors are no accident.  Neither are enemies.  Someone said, “Be kind to your enemies:  You made them.”

Rudeness and scorn are two vices that, if eliminated from our lives and the world, would change both.  Indeed, both of those vices are on the Lord’s cleaning list when He comes again to reign personally on the earth.  Of that time He has said:

“And calamity shall cover the mocker, the scorner shall be consumed…”  (D&C 45:50)

Both Nephi and Lehi singled out rudeness as being one of Laman’s and Lemuel’s major sins, and the cause of the problems the family experienced in their travels.

Nephi said after they boarded the ship that “my brethren and the sons of Ishmael and also their wives began to…speak with much rudeness…yea, they were lifted up unto exceeding rudeness.”  (1 Ne. 18:9)

In the Promised Land, as Lehi gave his last blessing to his son, Jacob, he began the blessing by stating that Jacob had “suffered afflictions and much sorrow, because of the rudeness of (his) brethren.”  (2 Ne. 2:1)

That same trait became a great stumbling block for the church in the days of Alma as “the people of the church began to be lifted up in the pride of their eyes, and to set their hearts upon riches and upon the vain things of the world, that they began to be scornful, one towards another…”  (Alma 4:8)

Now for some examples:  I think we learn most, and retain the most, when we hear a story that we can relate to.  Kindness will never get you into trouble.  Rudeness always will.

My first story happened in the seminary room at the meetinghouse in Baker.  I was visiting seminary that morning, about 20 years ago.  I arrived early.  A young man also arrived early, and seated himself at the first desk of a row.  He slouched in his chair, thus effectively blocking access to the rest of the chairs of that row.

A young woman entered the room a minute later.  Wanting to sit in that same row, she came to a stop beside the young man and said, “Can I get by?”

Without moving, the young man growled, “Crawl over, or go around!”

I was amazed.

I was equally amazed a short time later as I contrasted that scene with a story I was told as I stood in line at the Tabernacle on Temple Square in Salt Lake City waiting to be admitted to a session of general conference.  I was visiting with another man waiting in the line.  He identified himself as a stake president in St. Anthony, Idaho.

He said that his son had been a student at Brigham Young University.  One Sunday the son was seated in a Sunday School class waiting for it to begin.  Every seat was taken when a girl entered the room.  Being the gentleman that he was, he rose, offered her his seat, and stood at the back of the room through the 45-minute class.

The girl was none other than Sharlene Wells, the then-reigning Miss America.

Sharlene asked her friends who that young man was, and let it be known that she would welcome a date with him.  When told, he thought to himself, “Well, what the heck?  I’ll never have an opportunity to date Miss America again,” so he asked her for a date.

One thing led to another, and the two of them got married—all because of an act of kindness that came naturally to a young man who practiced kindness.

The rest of the story is that Sharlene Wells had spent three years living in Argentina where her father was serving as mission president.  She saw hundreds of young men—missionaries—come and go through the mission home.  She noticed that the best ones, and the hardest workers, were farm boys from Idaho.  She determined then and there that she was going to marry a returned-missionary farm boy from Idaho.

When the young man from the Sunday School class asked her for a date, his prospects were helped immensely by the fact that he was a returned-missionary farm boy from Idaho.  She got what she wanted, and he married Miss America, because of an automatic act of kindness.

President Hinckley tells this story:

“An older boy and his young companion were walking along a road which led through a field.  They saw an old coat and a badly worn pair of men’s shoes by the roadside, and in the distance they saw the owner working in the field.

“The younger boy suggested that they hide the shoes, conceal themselves, and watch the perplexity on the owner’s face when he returned.

“The older boy…thought that would not be so good.  He said the owner must be a very poor man.  So, after talking the matter over, at his suggestion, they concluded to try another experiment.  Instead of hiding the shoes, they would put a silver dollar in each one and…see what the owner did when he discovered the money.  So they did that.

“Pretty soon the man returned from the field, put on his coat, slipped one foot into a shoe, felt something hard, took it out and found a silver dollar.  Wonder and surprise (shone) upon his face.  He looked at the dollar again and again, turned around and could see nobody, then proceeded to put on the other shoe; when to his great surprise he found another dollar.  His feelings overcame him…He knelt down and offered aloud a prayer of thanksgiving, in which he spoke of his wife being sick and helpless and his children without bread…He fervently thanked the Lord for this bounty from unknown hands and evoked the blessing of heaven upon those who gave him this needed help.

“The boys remained (hidden) until he had gone.  They had been touched by his prayer and felt something warm within their hearts.  As they left to walk down the road, one said to the other, ‘Don’t you have a good feeling?’”  (Ensign, May 1993, pg. 54)

I was the recipient in a similar story.  The situation was that Margie was in the hospital with 1-day-old Adam, our seventh baby.  I’d dressed the other kids up and brought them to town to meet their new brother.  I quote now from my journal:

“Last Monday evening I took all 6 of my kids out to eat at the Inland Café.  Nathan, Katie and Matt had all brought home excellent report cards, so we told them we’d do this as a reward.  This seemed like a good opportunity

“We all trooped into the restaurant, which was about half full.  The kids were especially good.  They talked in such low voices I’d have to ask them to repeat things they’d said.  I was proud of them, and felt at peace with the world.

“Partway through our meal I noticed an older couple pay their bill and leave.  A minute later the waitress approached and asked:  ‘Did you know the couple that just left?’

“ ‘No,’ I replied.

“ ‘Well, they just paid your bill.’

“I was flabbergasted…Neither I nor the restaurant people have any idea who the couple was.  Nathan said that he saw the lady smiling at us several times.

“I imagine we were a curious lot.  Six well-behaved, pretty children, one father, and no mother.  People probably wondered.”  (Journal entry, 22 February 1982)

My goal in life is to be like that couple or like the two boys who put the silver dollars in the man’s shoes.  There’s no other feeling in the world that can match the glow you get when you’ve done something kind—maybe especially when it’s anonymous, and no one can reciprocate except by performing their own anonymous kind act.

But above all, let us be kind in our families, where we’re best known, and where few acts can be anonymous.

“There is the story of the husband and wife who had saved and saved for a new car.  After taking delivery, the husband told his wife that all the necessary legal documents and insurance information were in a packet in the glove compartment.  On her first day out in the new car, she was involved in an accident, which demolished the front end of the car.  Unhurt, in tears, and near panic, she opened the packet to show the police officer her papers.  There she found a hand-written note from her husband which read:  ‘Now that you have had an accident, remember I can always replace the car, but not you.  Please know how much I love you!’ ”  (Ensign, May 1987, pg. 74.)

Jesus said, “A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”  (John 13:34-35.)