Marjorie:  “Did you read the article in Ruralite Magazine about the guy that grows giant pumpkins?”

James:  “No.”

“He destroys all but one pumpkin on the vine, covers it with a blanket at night, takes it off in the morning, and sprinkles it when it gets above 85-degrees.  He babies it, and works with it every day.  It can gain up to 20 pounds of weight in a day.  His pumpkin this year weighed 763 pounds!  He grows it on a big mat that can be lifted at the corners by a machine when he’s ready to move it.  They hollow the pumpkins out after the competition, and use them as boats in a boat race.  They feed them to elephants in the zoo.”

“Sounds like a lot of work.  Doesn’t sound like a very stable boat.  I think I’ll pass. ... I went walking with my siblings this morning.  Tim’s little dog usually jumps up on everyone but me, but this morning she jumped up on me, too, so I kicked it.”

“Did Tim say anything?”

“No, but Ellen did.  The dog thought I was playing with it, so it came back and jumped up on me again.  I kicked it harder.  Ellen came to its rescue, and told it, ‘No!  You can’t say down to it,’ she said, ‘because Jan can only say No, and it’s got to learn not to jump up on her.’”

“That means that they have the dogs in the house?!”

“Yep, and Jan is in her wheelchair.  Every morning the dog jumps up on her lap and gives her face a lick.  She hates it, but Tim thinks it’s funny.”

“I’d rather have a pumpkin.”