I am nearly 69 years old.  I thank God for this long life, and for the opportunity it has given me to repent and to put my life in order.  I’ve needed all this time.  As I get older, I get better at keeping the commandments.  I come to know my Savior better and more intimately.  I become more and more grateful for what He has done for me.  My understanding deepens, and I love Him more and more.  The more I learn about Him, and the more that I experience, the more my gratitude and love grow.

When I was a young boy, somewhere between 10 and 13 years old, I became disgusted with my weaknesses.  I did not like the person that I was.  I had so many bad habits that I felt dirty.  I determined to change.

I got a pencil and a piece of paper.  This was going to be a turning point in my life.  It was such a significant event that I can still see myself in the upstairs bedroom where I carried out my plan.  I sat down at the desk and listed all of the bad habits that I was going to get rid of.  It was a long, ugly list.  I held nothing back.  When it was finished, I looked at it with satisfaction, and then hid it where no one might accidentally find it and discover what a repulsive person I was.

I left that exercise thinking that I was a new person, and that I was finally free of those debilitating habits.  But 24 hours later I had broken every resolve.  I came to the realization that I was powerless to change a thing.  After several more days futilely wishing I was stronger, I reached into the black hole where I’d hidden my list, took it out, and burned it.

What I didn’t know then was that what I called bad habits were sins.  I didn’t know that word.  I didn’t know the word repentance, either.  I’d heard of Jesus Christ, but I had no idea that He had any connection whatever with my bad habits or sins.  All I knew about Him was that He’d been a great man who had lived long ago, and that He’d been killed.  I had not a clue that He knew all about my sins, that He’d already suffered more for them than I was then suffering, that He’d paid for them, and that He held the key for me to banish them from my life and from the record.

I’d never heard of the Holy Ghost.  I didn’t know what a help it could be.  What I did have, as I look back on those events, was the light of Christ.  As a 10- or a 13-year-old boy, with no religious upbringing, I knew right from wrong!  I had a desire to be good, but I was clueless about how to get there.

The only thing I had going for me was that desire to be good.  As a 19-year-old, when life became unbearably difficult, Jesus Christ came into my life through the medium of the Book of Mormon.  Suddenly I knew why I wanted to be better, and I knew how to get there.  I suddenly had a glimpse of my potential.  I was a son of God.  Jesus Christ was real.  He knew me, He knew all about my sins, and He wanted to help me.  He loved me so much that He had already suffered for—and paid for—my sins.  Not only was He fully aware of every sordid act and thought, but He could take them all away if I would consent to abandon my sins, follow Him, keep His commandments, and be baptized in His name.  He promised that after baptism He would give me a gift which would help me maintain, and continually improve upon, my cleanliness.

I accepted that offer, and I’ve never looked back.  That was nearly 49 years ago.  I came out of the baptismal font feeling clean for the first time in my life.  It felt so good that I went home, and cried like a baby.  I hadn’t sobbed like that since I was small.  I have shed tears since then, but that is the only time as an adult that I’ve actually sobbed.

Since then I’ve continued to repent, to attend church, to repent, to serve, to repent, and to keep the Savior’s commandments.  I’m coming to know Him better and better, and to love Him more and more.  I’m becoming happier and happier.  I thank Him for this long opportunity I’ve been given to get things right.  I’ve needed every extra day and every extra opportunity to serve and to love.

I thank Him for the great gift of repentance.  Who would want to go through life and eternity feeling unhappy and filthy?