Last evening I attended a meeting on how not to give a talk.  That wasn’t the real intent of the meeting, but it was the main message I came away with.  The reason was the distractions that several of the speakers incorporated into their talks.

Six young missionaries spoke.  All went well for the first couple of talks, but then an elder began speaking who had a nervous habit that was very distracting.  He gave an interesting and well-organized talk, but every few seconds he reached up and adjusted the microphone.  Every time he’d do so, the microphone rumbled and creaked, and I began counting.  He did it 12 times after I began counting.  The microphone’s rumble was very distracting.  I’d think, “There, the microphone is perfectly positioned.  Don’t touch it again,” but he did it over and over.  It was a nervous habit, and it overpowered his talk.

When speaking in public we should avoid doing or saying anything that would distract from our talk’s message.  This young elder’s habit would be an easy one to break if someone would point it out to him.  Sometime when I’m in a similar setting with young elders I think I’ll announce beforehand that I’m going to critique their talks for such distractions as a help for them in other settings.

One of the biggest distractions of all is gum chewing while speaking.  Thankfully, that wasn’t a problem last night.  Another common distraction that wasn’t present last evening was obnoxious ties sporting cartoon characters or some other inappropriate theme.  The Church counsels the Aaronic Priesthood to not wear inappropriate ties for the specific reason that it distracts worshipers from thinking of the Savior during the passing of the sacrament.  That’s also one of the reasons that Aaronic Priesthood holders can’t pass the sacrament if they’re wearing ear rings.  Such distractions call attention to the person rather than to the Savior or to the content of a talk that the person is giving.

After the elder spoke who kept adjusting the microphone, another elder began speaking, and did the same thing!  I had the sensation that one elder had learned his habit from the other.  This elder did it 15 times.  I’m a counter.  I count everything.  Don’t ever do anything in your talks to set off a counter like me.  My son got in trouble in a high school class because he kept track of the number of times his teacher said, “Uhmm humm,” one day.  After the hundredth tally mark she realized what he was doing, was offended, and bawled him out.

I can count several things at once.  The elder who adjusted the microphone 15 times also said, “Uhmm” 46 times.  The microphone habit would be easy to break, but the “uhmms” will take a little work.  This should be pointed out to him.  I wouldn’t want to upset or offend him by pointing out his problems, but he’d be a highly effective speaker if he’d conquer his little nervous distractions.  He’s not even aware of them.

The final speaker last night sprinkled “you knows” into his talk instead of “uhmms.”  Coincidentally, he tied the other elder at 46.  That was down from 93 when he spoke in sacrament meeting the previous week.  I had rooted for him to hit 100.  His talks could have been shortened by one-quarter had he eliminated the unnecessary “you knows.”  If you need a moment to collect your thoughts while speaking, use a silent pause.

It’s a terrible thing to be critical of these good young men.  I’d like to help them, but I’m not going to say anything for fear of offending them.  I’m recording these thoughts in hopes that it will aid my grandchildren when they eventually read this.

When speaking in casual conversations there is great wisdom in remaining silent on the things you’re ignorant of.  Few things are more irritating than a know-it-all.  If you remain silent and only speak when you’re sure of your statements, people think you’re smarter than you are, and that you know more than what you’re saying.

Say what needs to be said, but not all that can be said.  Limit yourself.  Don’t think that your words are so everlastingly important that your talk becomes everlasting.  If you’re given a time limit, observe it.  Don’t infringe on the following speaker’s time.  Don’t make the meeting go overtime, either.  If the time is up, shut up, and sit down.  The audience knows when the meeting is to end.  They’re watching the clock, and won’t hear a word you say after the ending time has come and gone.

I still vividly remember a particular high councilor over 40 years after he spoke in sacrament meeting.  He defined the word “moment” for me.  It was time to end the meeting.  He knew it, and said, “I’ll finish in a moment.”  Thirteen-and-a-half minutes later he said, “Amen.”  That’s how long a moment is.  His polite listeners all gratefully said, “Amen,” too.  Not one of them could have told you what his talk was about.

A short talk with the Spirit is better than a long one without.

If you’d like your talk to be memorable, include a meaningful story.  If the story can be a personal experience, so much the better.  People remember stories, and therefore, the points that they illustrate.

If you want to give a good talk, avoid any trivial introductory remarks.  Launch right into a story.  You’ll have everyone’s attention.  No minds will drift, and no one will go to sleep.  Tell the story, make your point, and back it up with a well-chosen scripture.  If time permits, tell another story, make your point, and illustrate with another good scripture.  Follow these with your testimony.

If you’ll follow these simple suggestions, all of your listeners will be able to go home and tell the sick family member what the meeting was about.  Your listeners won’t have become distracted during your talk.  They won’t have gotten sleepy, they’ll have felt the Spirit, and they’ll be grateful for your clarity, brevity, and insights.  They’ll go away thinking that you know what you’re talking about, and will be looking forward to hearing from you again.