I am beset with temptations just as all men are.  My greatest desire is to be good, and to do good, and to follow Jesus faithfully.  But I’m weak.  I repeat mistakes that I’ve promised to abandon.  I thought that I’d repented, and yet I do the thing again.

Am I a lost cause?  No, for Jesus has said, “…as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.”  (Mosiah 26:30).

He has also said, “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.

“By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.”  (D&C 58:42-43).

Is my problem that I haven’t properly forsaken my sins?

As I pondered over these questions while preparing my institute lesson, I fell asleep.  I seemed to understand that Jesus had come.  Many people were rushing toward a door that they could enter which would admit them to the presence of the Lord.  I was eager to be there also, and began running to join the group when I remembered some unworthy thing that I’d left behind.  I ran back to get it.  I snatched it up, and turned in time to see the last person enter the door which shut behind him.  I raced to the door, but my knocking was in vain.  The attentions of those inside were so riveted on what they were experiencing that they neither heard me nor gave thought to the world they’d just left.

Yes, the Lord will forgive me as often as I repent, but time is running out.  I’ve already identified the unworthy items and thoughts that I’m hanging onto.  I can’t carry them into the presence of the Lord.  I must abandon them now.

Am I still carrying a grudge against the person who wronged me?

Will I be willing to have one more drink with my friends if the opportunity presents itself?

Am I unwilling to put an unworthy friendship out of my life?

Am I hanging onto my favorite piece of pornography?

Do swear words sometimes come out of my mouth?

Am I still involved in idleness and procrastination?

Am I still worrying more about what people think rather than what God thinks?

Am I working harder at accumulating things than I am at serving God and my fellow man?

These are things I must think about.  The closed door was very upsetting.  I don’t know what the item was that caused me to be late, but when I came to examine it, it turned to ashes in my hand.