24 October 1994

Katie received a blessing in which she was told that her life was fitting into the gospel purpose and plan.  As she has reflected on that statement, she asked if I would write about how my life does that.  I agreed to think about it.

This morning I awoke from a dream.  In the dream I was among a large gathering of people.  It was a pleasant enough group of people until I was asked if I would speak to the group and respond to their questions.  I readily assented, but I sensed an immediate change in the group's mood to one of hostility.  A "Mormon" was about to address them, and here was their chance to embarrass him.

I knew I was in for it.  A sense of panic went through me as the first question came.  I cringed inwardly as I saw where the next questions would go, and how ugly things would become.  The question was, "I understand you're expecting your 10th baby.  Why?"

I found myself answering that question at length.  As I did so, the mood of the group made a rapid change from one of hostility to one of sympathy and support.  I never got to the next question in my dream, but I knew that there would be no further difficulty.  I lay in my bed in a semi-wakeful condition for some time savoring the sweet feelings I was having as I answered that question.

Before I completely finished, Katie's request came to mind.  I snapped awake as I realized that I had what I needed to write for her.  Here is the gist of what I told that group in my dream:

Yes, we're going to have a baby.  It's our 10th.  We're 46 and 47 years old, and haven't had a baby for six years.  We thought we were through.  This really threw us for a loop, particularly my wife.  But we're really excited about welcoming this little person into our home.  I can't wait to hold him or her.

I want to tell you about my family.  These kids are wonderful.  We have some really neat things going for us.  We've never had a TV.  Instead, we spend our evenings doing things together.  We read books as a family.  We've been through most of Mark Twain's books together, for example.  In addition, the kids all read voraciously on their own.

Margie, my wife, is an excellent pianist.  We all gather around the piano and sing while she plays song after song.  This isn't just singing, but four-part harmony.  It's a choir, and it's beautiful, and it feels heavenly.

My children are compassionate, good students, excellent examples and leaders.  One was student body president, and three daughters have been student body secretary and cheerleaders.

The world doesn't need more gang members, illegitimate children, and people to fight ethnic or religious wars.  But the world does need my kids.

My oldest son took two years out of his life and served a full-time mission in an area that has the second highest crime rate in the country.  He taught lots of Blacks in an effort to show them the purpose of life and how to make their lives happy and meaningful.

My 88-year-old mother-in-law lives with us.  She's been the perfect mother-in-law.  When she had her own family she looked out her window and saw a little girl go by each morning on her way to school.  It was winter, and it was cold.  The little girl came from a poor family, and had no coat.

Grandma visually sized her up, and then took one of their good coats apart and altered it to fit the little girl.  Then one morning she called to the passing girl and asked her if she could use this coat that wouldn't fit anyone in the family.

That's the type of person she was—always doing things for others—and for us.

She's a complete mental and physical invalid now.  But it's a privilege to care for her.  Margie has done that for several years.  But as her pregnancy progressed, she reached the point where she couldn't lift her mother and care for her needs.

Almost on the very day that she reached that point, her sister arrived and moved in with us to help out.  She took over Grandma's care, and she took over the family laundry and house cleaning.  She stayed a month.  It was wonderful.

As she left, Margie's other sister arrived.  She took over caring for their mother, and painted the living room and our massive, ugly, never-before-painted fireplace and made it a thing of beauty.  I hadn't realized that it was ugly until she renovated the place.

"The neat thing about this," my wife said, "is that I never asked them to come and help."

My father lives a half mile up the hill from us.  He's an 84-year-old widower.  He's all alone.  My sister goes every morning at 6:00 to soak his feet, bandage the diabetic sores on them, and give him company.  I go every afternoon to do the same, and to play him a game of Scrabble.  My kids come in a never-ending stream to visit, play chess with him, and eat the ice cream that he keeps in the freezer for bait.  We've added several years to his life. —And he loves life.  "I've got to stay around to see what happens," he says.

Dad used to be busy and brusque.  Now he gets misty-eyed almost daily as he expresses his gratitude for his daughter and his son and his son's family that is what he calls "the most wonderful family in the world."

We have our challenges and our problems, but life is sweet.  These children are happy, well-adjusted, know where they're going, and are moral, straight, honest, and well-rounded.  Our family life is a bit of heaven on earth.

It's our understanding that we all lived as spirit children of our Father in Heaven before we came to earth, and that each of us eagerly awaited our chance to come.  We come to gain a body, to experience mortality, and to get ready to return to spend eternity with our Father in Heaven.  Many of us come to earth under less than ideal conditions.

Our family isn't ideal, but our goal is to make it as close to ideal as possible.  The better we become at living, the easier and sweeter this mortal experience becomes for us, and the better we become at helping those around us.  Hopefully, we're sending some powerful, happy ripples out into the world that others can benefit from.

It's no accident that Grandma's three daughters so willingly provided care and service for her and for each other.  They learned the art from their parents.

A purpose of life is to learn to serve those around us and to be willing to be inconvenienced for others.  I see every sign that the tradition is going to be successfully passed down to my grandkids.

The gospel plan, simply put, is for spirits to come to mortality, learn how to solve problems, and get in condition to leave and qualify themselves for eternal life.

My purpose in life is to help others do that.  In the process, I help myself achieve eternal life, too.  The most special of these individuals that I'm helping are those in my family.  Everything I do, I do for them.  I work to earn money to provide a home for them.  I serve in Church callings to help my Father's other children.  They, in turn, help me with mine.

My life fits in with the gospel purpose and plan as long as I stay focused on my family and my Church callings.  When we get off the track and begin focusing on money, or entertainment and pleasure, or power, or fame and recognition, or the acquirement of possessions, then we frustrate God's purpose for us, and we derail those for whom we have responsibility.

I'm really, really happy.  There isn't a day that goes by but what I express gratitude to my Father for my wonderful children.  It's a daily thrill to see them all on the right path, happy and progressing.  We're really excited to be welcoming a new, little spirit into our family, and to be able to provide a happy, stable home atmosphere for it to come to.

For the time being, at least, I feel that I'm fulfilling the gospel purpose and plan for me.