In the talk Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave in the Priesthood session of the October 2014 general conference, he cited an interesting study:

“Two researchers invited college students to participate in a series of tests on various life skills and then asked them to rate how they did.”

“Across 4 studies, the authors found that participants scoring in the bottom quartile on tests of humor, grammar, and logic grossly overestimated their test performance and ability.  Although their test scores put them in the 12th percentile, they estimated themselves to be in the 62nd.”

President Uchtdorf’s talk focused on the tendency that we all have to view ourselves improperly.  Some of us overestimate our abilities and contributions while others devalue and underestimate themselves.

For example, another of President Uchtdorf’s footnotes cited a study wherein “three partners were asked to rate their contributions to the success of the company.  Their self-assessed contributions added up to 150 percent.”

This is intriguing.  I observed to Marjorie that I would fit into the group that overestimates themselves, while she would be in the group that routinely underestimates themselves.

She agreed with that assessment and then added, “The time I really underestimated myself was the time I was asked to take organ instruction from a woman who played the Tabernacle organ.”

This was when we lived in Provo during my college days.  Each ward was asked to send one person to the group instruction being offered by this woman.  Provo 25th Ward sent Marjorie.  Marjorie was very intimidated in the presence of the other 15 organists.  They all held their heads high, and looked and acted superior, confident, and omni-competent.  They all spoke freely during the first group instruction.  Marjorie said not a word.

The women were given a set of exercises to do as homework before the next class, at which time each would be required to perform the exercises in front of the whole group.

At the next class Marjorie was the only one who was able to play the exercises.  From that point on the instructor looked straight at Marjorie as she taught.

One day I received a phone call from the stake presidency asking that Marjorie and I would meet with the first counselor the next evening.  Such requests are always unnerving.  You know that your life is about to change, and that a calling is going to be extended.  We conjectured about what that calling could be.

My opinions of myself are sometimes more exalted than they should be.  We spent the following 24 hours guessing what the calling would be that I was going to receive.  I was certain in my own mind that I was going to be called to serve on the high council, a calling that I’ve never had.

The stake president’s counselor sat us down and told us that the stake president had authorized him to issue a call to Marjorie to serve as the stake Relief Society president.  The air went out of us both.  All I could say was, “Oh, no, it’s worse than we thought!”

Marjorie was dumb-founded.  After the interview she protested to me that they’d made a mistake.  She lamented, “I’m not that kind of person!  They think I’m like you, and I’m not.”  She spent the next few weeks in agony.

Following her sustaining in stake conference Penny Waite made a most interesting comment: “Finally,” she said, “we have someone with common sense.”

Marjorie proved to be a wonderful leader.  She taught the basics, scrupulously followed counsel from General Relief Society President Julie B. Beck, and bravely eliminated many of the frivolous niceties that had become tradition in the stake.  She focused on the things that had meaning and which had the potential to impact and change lives.

Marjorie has observed what she calls “stake ladies” since she was a small girl.  “Stake ladies” had a certain air about them.  When we were in Morocco our branch was visited by a woman who was on the general Relief Society board.  Marjorie was in awe of, and suspicious of, the woman until she noticed her hands.  The woman’s hands were rough like her mother’s.  They were hands that did dishes!  This wasn’t a “stake lady.”  This was a common, ordinary woman who knew about raising children, and caring for a home, and whose counsel and advice could be trusted.

Is it better to overestimate or to underestimate yourself?  Pride is one of the worst afflictions one can have.  On the other hand it is equally incapacitating to have such a low opinion of yourself that you’re frozen and immobilized by requests to serve.  I know people, especially women, who routinely say to the bishop, “I can’t do that.”  Their male counterparts, on the other hand, rarely turn the bishop down.  Their manly pride gets in the way, and won’t let them say, “I can’t do that.”  They go ahead and accept the calling—and then just don’t perform.

Marjorie astutely observes that pride is also the basis for the reason why women say to the bishop, “I can’t do that.”  They think that they’ll look bad in front of others as they struggle to learn and to act in their callings.

We must find the middle ground, and trust the Lord when He says that we’ll be given no more than we’re capable of handling.  (1 Cor. 10:13).  We must trust the prophets when they tell us that whom the Lord calls, He qualifies.

If we will serve with diligence in the place we are called to serve, we will come to sincerely believe that, with the Lord’s help, we can do all things.  That knowledge will not come overnight, but it will surely come as we continue to simply do the best we can.  Our skills will improve, our confidence will grow, our nervousness will fade, and we’ll become true servants of the Lord and a blessing to many people.

In this context I think of Zeezrom in the Book of Mormon.  Zeezrom was an exceedingly wicked man.  He was full of pride, and was the foremost of all the wicked and prideful lawyers in the Nephite city of Ammonihah.  His cunning, craftiness, and leadership led to the imprisonment and torture of Alma and Amulek.

However, unlike the other lawyers and judges, the Holy Spirit was able to touch Zeezrom’s heart.  He was able to abandon his pride, and became a vocal supporter of Alma, of Amulek, and of their teachings.  He publicly reversed himself from being an antagonist to being an advocate of the truth.  Such a demonstration of courage, humility, and repentance has few equals in the scriptures.

The consequence of Zeezrom’s about-face was that he was cast out of the land along with other believers.  They were run out of the country without being permitted to take either possessions or family.  Their wives, children, and scriptures were gathered together and cast into the fire.  (Alma 14:7-8).  For all that Zeezrom knew, this was also the fate of Alma and of Amulek—and he was responsible!  It is little wonder that he became sick “with a burning fever, which was caused by the great tribulations of his mind.”  (Alma 15:3).

Amulek was another prideful man (Alma 10:4-6) who allowed himself to be humbled.  Presumably the families of both Zeezrom and Amulek were consigned to the fire at Ammonihah, and that is why Alma had need of taking Amulek to his own home in Zarahemla where he “administered unto him in his tribulations.”  (Alma 15:18).

Both Amulek and Zeezrom are greatly to be admired.  Not only did they cast off their pride and repent in humility, but both became exemplary missionaries.  Both were in the group of eight who went with Alma to preach to the apostate Zoramites.  (Alma 31:6).  Both were able to cast off afflictions which were greater than anything most of us have experienced, and became worthy and able servants of the Lord.  Both humbled themselves, and neither said, “I can’t do that” when called to serve.

Neither overestimated his abilities, but they didn’t underestimate their abilities, either.  Both learned that with the Lord’s help they could do anything.  This is the lesson that each of us needs to learn, too.